What’s wrong with some people?

It may Incite some people or excite others but should gay persons and passable transgendered persons wear some kind of identification so that the rest of the world know who they are and not embarrass themselves by liking them or, in some cases, even to communicate with them? A friend, who is trans was having her hair done at a popular salon when a young woman, who was being trained by her hairdresser, with a colorful elaborate tatoo on her arm, began talking and seemed to have a lot in common. Both liked lesbian literature, tatoos, and feminist ideology. After the break, the trainee who had been gentle before, began making several mistakes. Tatoo girl soaked the back of her shirt while shampooing my girlfriend, pulled her hair while combing it out, and left the hair dryer in one spot so long it burned her scalp. It appeared that one of the transgirl’s regular stylists told Tatoo girl that she had been male before changing her sex and she felt duped then angry. At the end of the session Tatoo girl took a brush and changed the style of the transgirl’s hair to make her look less feminine. This treatment could have easily been avoided if there were some way, even for gays, to tell the gender and sexual orientation. Oh, to make this scenario more interesting or realistic as it may be, transgirl has had several boyfriends who beat her up after learning she had been different.     What are your thoughts? 

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7 thoughts on “What’s wrong with some people?

  1. My thoughts are that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, and if I were in a service role like a hairdresser, I would give my all to every customer and take pride in my work quality and professionalism. As for the relationship and dating aspect, I think it is appropriate to be clear about one’s TG status, because that’s an important thing when romance and intimacy are involved. That said, no one gets to beat anyone else up unless it is self-defense.

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    1. Dear Mr. Baker: it’s my understanding that the transgirl was being open and friendly and it may have been perceived as more, but not likely. She feels the tatoo girl was just shocked and even though she herself may have been gay, she felt deceived. The resulting passive agreesive behavior after learning of her status was what appears surprising. Anyways, most people realize I was being sarcastic in suggesting labeling as a proper social remedy. I believe the proper course would be to do as you say, treat everyone with courtesy to the extent their own posture and behavior deserve it.

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      1. Indeed. Isn’t it so much easier to say, “I’m sorry. I misunderstood,” than to freak out and turn violent or to carry out the passive aggressive behavior you described in your post? I’m sorry your friend had that experience.

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      2. Yes, you think that would be the best response in an ordered society but humans still posses instincts for self preservation. When something or someone threatens their established patterns of behavior it undermines their sense of security. It appeared to be a more knee her response on the part of Tatoo girl in.learning that the person she was opening up to was not as she expected or perhaps she harbored some biases developed over time to Trans persons. If she had thought about it, she might have realized her violent reactive behavior, albeit mild in comparison to an angry (straight male) boyfriend was the same kind she, as a gay female, would ordinarily have condemned as a victim of cultural prejudice herself. It was premised, not on her hatred for Trans persons per se, but the violation or intrusion into established belief system. Everyone, including gays are influenced by their culture to expect certain behaviors even if they don’t condone it.

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    2. I believe even she would agree that in the case of intimacy one should be open and honest else it becomes nothing more than a bohemian exercise with substantial risks, but my original premise was to use some kind of device, labeling, etc. To give notice to the world she is unique in order to avoid such negative feelings as aroused in the Tatoo girl, but of course i was being a bit sarcastic since everyone, gay, trans, straight deserve privacy and the right to express themselves freely so long as it does not interfere with someone else’s rights. You pose an interesting question though, when if ever should some divulge a secret that she or he knows would have an impact on another’s life?

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    1. Ah, but they do. It’s called adaptation. All children learn to adapt, or not, to their expected gender and social roles of the culture they were born into. Trans persons, gays, or other variants to these established paradigms either adapt to the standards set by their society or are labeled deviant and excluded from mainstream associations. Regardless of how the world is changing today to become more tolerable to those who don’t conform. It appears when one that is not easily discernable blends in and is taken for “normal” is later discovered to be different, it offends the sensibility of those who accepted her or him without question into their standard world. This deceit, inadvertent or intentional causes alarm because it upsets the structural integrity of all that had been ingrained into the masses. I’m not saying what’s right or wrobg, just pointing out that even the gay subgroup can react obtuse to a perceived threat to their expectations of relevant behavior.

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